cont...

WHAT HAPPENED TO WORKING IT OUT?

Everything went fine except for one thing.. I know he's still hiding something from me.. I dont know what it is, but i could feel it. Maybe its because I already know him, I can feel when there's something wrong with him..

"curiousity has its own reason of existing..."

We spend our time together almost every day. sometimes he would visit me at the dorm(its where i always used to go after our class.) and take me out for a dinner. Doing things like the way we used to do(but not entirely everything.) though there are a lot of times that we were arguing cause I still cant get over with what he did to me.. (and its really hard but I appreciate all his efforts)

Puppy...

He even gave me a puppy(i named him puppy also..haha.) cos he knows i really love dogs, but I remember before, he doesnt want me to have a puppy, cos he told me I might have less time for him and I would prioritize giving most of my time for the puppy.

Here's what he texted me the day after he gave puppy:

"Nagustuhan mo ba c puppy?Sna alagaan mo cia mabuti at sana mapasaya ka nya.
Sna mawala pagod mo paguwe mo galing school..Cia magpapasaya sau pag wla ako.. Tsaka tutulong skin magpangiti sayo everytime na nasasaktan kita.. Pag nmimiss mko cia nlng hug mo, mfi-feel na kita agad..."

-----gulat lang ako bakit ganun xa magsalita..inisip ko nlng cgro gsto nya tlga bumawe..


My birthday and the Church

Last Semptember, during my birthday, we were in MOA. We just had a dinner cos I need to be home by 5, ill be leaving for Bicol for the wake and burial of my lola.

While we were waiting for the food, I felt he has something to say. Then i just heard him whisper "bie pakasal na tayo pra sure na,secret marriage" ----(mahina ung boses nya,tas prang nhihiya pa xa..kya pla d xa mpakali...
At first I thought gsto lng nya n sbihin yun,prang ngalalambing lng.. Bakit meron pang ksamang pra sure n??? And then naisip ko OA nman 3 months lang xa mwawala xe he's leaving, he's going to take care of his mom in Japan. i asked him bakit secret?
he answered : xe im sure hndi ka nman papayagan ng mama mo.

He knows nman qng ano gsto ko before setling down, DIPLOMA nya and our OWN HOUSE..)
I just answered him "ok lng.." without any excited feelings.. I saw his face it was like he was disappointed with my answer. That was the time I realized that he's not joking..

After our dinner we went to the church in Baclaran, I told him I just want to thank God for everything. We parked his car in McDonalds. then we just walked going to the church.
We prayed.. I dont know what he's praying for but, me, i thanked God that we are still together, and wish we could really patch things up, I even told him to help me forget all the pain and what Jhe did to me..,her mom to be totally ok and to fully recover of the operation(cos I know how much he loves her mom.) , and both of us n mkagraduate na..

After praying, we were going back to where the car was parked, then suddenly the rain falls..
We dont have an umbrella or a jacket cos we didnt bring any thing with us. We ran while its pissing rain and some other people were busy running heading their own way too. I REALLY LOVE THAT PART.. He was holding my hand while we were running and guiding my way so I wont get bumped...

I arrived home almost 7pm, my sisters and my cousins were already there waiting for me... And i still havent packed my things yet.. So I rushed..

on my way to Bicol, i texted him, I thanked him and I told him I really enjoyed that day... And that I hope that we were always HAPPY..and no arguments. But then i find his message a bit fishy..hehe.. cos he told me that he also enjoyed his time with me, "na sna i wont give up kahit ano pa ung mga mangyare smen, kasi madami pa daw TRIALS ung drating smen mas mabigat pa, na he's glad while we were in the church xe pra din daw xang nkakapagconfess...." ----------confusing lang bakit ganun yung message nya..but atleast were both happy..


THE WORST THING THAT I NEVER IMAGINED...

(I dont know if I should hate friendster for this..haha)

I was home that time, I checked my friendster account before going to school... One of jhe's sister viewed my profile, and so i viewed her profile too, i was planning to leave a message for her. on her profile i saw the Bitch's name and her comment for jhe's sister she was saying regards to her family and to NANAY(ambsyosa,aq nga nver q p ntwag na nanay ung mom ni jhe..hehe) plus the girl's primary photo was her picture with one jhe's nephews inside their house... AGAIN I WAS SHOCKED... I thought jhe wont lie with me again, he made me believe that the gurl is not existing in our life again... I posted our picture(me and jhe), i made it my primary photo and then I viewed her like what she did to me before(this time ako naman yung gumwa, kung anu yun ggnwa nya skin before.siguro lang naiinis ako kasi bkit gang ngaun d pa din xa mwala s buhai nmen?for some reason na hndi ko alm)...

I didnt tell jhe that i already knew that he's still seeing the girl.. i just asked him if we could go out after my class..

that night i was in the dorm. he arrived, i didnt bring my things with me, instead i went inside the car but i didnt lock the door.. I was just staring at him.. I know he could already figure it out, or maybe the girl already told her about it. I cant say a single word. then he told me we should go. i just told him im not going with him anymore.. i handed him the ring that he gave me last last christmas... i broke up with him.. He still wants to explain things to me, but i cant listen anymore. "ayoko na magexplain pa xa, i just want him to go.." my face was filled with tears again..damn how could he hurt me again.. WHY HE STILL CANT LEAVE THE GIRL?! Does he love her or what? All he was saying is that he loves me, (and F*CK what about the girl, taena im tired..) and that he dont wanna lose me. He said he cant explain things cos he knows that i wont understand... (understand what??tell me the things that i should know).. the night ended that is till didnt hear the things that he should tell me..

when i went home, I checked my account again..
she posted her picture that has something different in her body's figure..
its a CLUE! but i still need to confirm it..then the next thing i know is that she posted a picture of an ultrasound of a baby!

ok i get it!!

She's having a baby with my boyfriend!...

IT FUCKING HURTS LIKE HELL!
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO..